Exercise and Retirement

John Harrelson

New Member
When I retired, I wanted to live is a way that would not interfere with my leisure time..

But after a few months I started getting fat and decided to go on an exercise program to stay healthy.

My doctor recommended a muscle toning exercise that involved lifting weights..

The doctor said to start out slow so as to not strain any muscles,
So for the first few weeks I used only one Miller Lite barbell and practiced lifting it to mouth using only my right arm, ...

Then I intensified my exercise routine and started holding a Miller Lite barbell in both hands and practiced lifting them to my mouth..

This was to improve my hand(s) to mouth coordination skills..

It took about three weeks of practice to get it right, but I finally did..

During those three weeks, due to the high cost of the Miller Lite exercise equipment, ($10 per case) I practiced while sitting the bathtub, so as to not waste any of the Miller Lite barbell that might have spilled.

I remembered my doctor saying that I should vary the exercise routine as I progressed in the program ...

so once I had mastered the coordination of two handed exercise, I decided to start a "energy infusion" exercise routine..

To do this, I started using only my left arm to lift the Miller Lite barbell to my mouth, but I did perform the lifting exercise at a faster rate so the muscles in left arm would not get flabby..

Meanwhile, with my right hand, I started grasping and lifting things like Planters, Jiffypop, Grannygoose, Reubenonrye, .... etc...

The grasping exercise strengthened the muscles of my hand and fingers and lifting my hand to my mouth kept my right arm muscles from getting flabby.

Once again I ran into the problem of coordination between my left arm and right arm trying to lift something to my mouth without spilling the Miller Lite barbell or the energy infusion.

But once again I solved the problem.... The bathtub....

I moved the television into the bathroom and set it on the sink.
I then duct taped the remote control to the rim of the tub so that I could push the buttons with my toes to change channels.

Success... I had finally mastered the art of retirement... For several weeks I thought that nothing could be better than this... until my wife left me..

NOW..... my retirement is finally perfected...