What have you done with our language?

[The Englishman]

On a visit to Malta once I quizzed a local as to which side of the road the Maltese drive. It sounds odd telling this tale to Americans as they as the English drive on a set side. US right, UK left. In Malta that is not easy to see.

The guy smiled and replied "we drive in the shade". His battered car stood testament that not everyone subscribed to this belief. In addition I noted that there were few (if any) road signs. Again I presented this to the grinning candidate and he again replied "we know where we're going - Don't need signs"

In his simplistic manner I stood and pondered - I guess that was a good enough answer.

Why don't the police act? Why don't they post road signs? That's got to change for safety's sake. Then a moment arrived where I asked myself "... would it still be Malta if they did?" The answer is No! Malta is Malta, warts and all. A nation that won the George Cross in WW2 and good, good people.

What I'm saying here is people, races and nations are different. You either like it or get out of there.

The USA and Britain are as close as any nations can be but we are so different and I am not in any way gonna try and change that.

Lets look at a few things that I cant understand.

We go to the loo, toilet or lavatory
The US uses the bathroom - Never yet seen a bath in any facility yet.

We turn on the tap - You turn on your faucet (sounds more like a surgeons instrument than a tap)

We go on holiday you go on vacation

You have gas fueled cars - We have petrol for cars and gas for heating

We have articulated lorries (artics) you have 'semi's' - Semi what? Semi train?

Britons smoke fags - If you did that here you could be doing jail time - you call them 'smokes'.

Kids here eat candy we have sweets.

A guy I know reached into his truck once and said he wanted to show me his 'piece' - I stood dumbstruck and about to call the police and tell them that this man was going to expose himself. What a surprise when he produced a handgun he proudly showed off. :evil:

I guess I will have to go back to school to learn American.

 

[cwishert]

Re: What have you done with our language?

I really enjoy reading your posts! And you are so right about the language difference. But before long even Americans will not know what other Americans are talking about

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Steve, just wait until you get to Alabama :laugh: If you say your are gonna go smoke a fag we'll say wait let me get my shotgun and we'll help ya'll shoot that fag. What's a tap. We usa a bucket to draw it outta the well. Ya'll r welcome to a drink just don't drink outta the bucket. Use the gourd hanging on the side :laugh: Watch out for Bubba he'll pull you over if you have a out of state tag :laugh: Oh. bubba is our town cop Be careful around him if he turns sidways he is gonna spit out his tobacca juice and it'll really put a stain in your britches. Be prepared to tell him UK is British and not University Of Kentucky. Ask him if he is for Alabama or Auburn and whichever he says tell him you are a fan and he might let u go. All for now but will be back to give you more help to survive in the south :laugh:

 

[H2H1]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Nash you gorgot to tell him we park on the drive way and drive on the parkway, and houses burn down not up. And Steve if in GA. look out for smokie, that not something you smoke, that the highway parole, also if you here the word Kodak that not a place in AK he has taken your picture. Also tell him you are a Georgia Fan, THAT WILL DO to, too or two (word confusing) thing for you. You will a "at a boy" or a ticket. now if you go to one of our fine rest runt the honey or babe, sweet heart (waitress) will give you a check not a ticket. Now do try to spend the check that actually the bill.. PS a good book to read for correct English in the South is by Jeff Foxworth, that will put you on the right path. :laugh: :laugh: :bleh: NOW YOU GO AND HAVE YOURSELF A GOOD TIME IN THE SOUTH YOU HERE :laugh:

 

[cwishert]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Now I understood everything that Hollis and Nash said but they could use some spelling lessons. :laugh: :clown: But it goes to show you that some Americans don't know what other Americans are talking about. :clown: They also did not inform you on the fact that in the South at least in Texas we say Coke for almost any soft drink as in "You want a Coke?" "Yeah" "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper!" but in the North they ask for soda or pop or possibly even sodapop. I am sure there are plenty of others that you will hear in your travels around this great nation. And one more thing if you ask for Tea, you are probably going to get a big glass of iced tea and the waitress will ask you if you want sweet or unsweet? So if you are looking for a good hot cup of tea you need to be very specific.

 

[cwishert]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Oh yeah and Hollis, you know what a tap is. It's what your fancy beer comes out of at the bar! :clown: :evil:

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Steve, you aint to worry about our spelling. :laugh: Our fingers have a mind of their own. Now them Texans will claim to be in the south but they aint even selling gravy bisquits at their McDonalds. :laugh: Now I know you know what a Big Mac is. We used to think it was a truck but along came McDonald and changed it.

 

[H2H1]

Re: What have you done with our language?

naw Karol thats jus d way weum saids in the south. and we ten to spelll thaw way it sounds :laugh: :laugh: besides that all wum got in the 3 grade. shoot me and paw was both in the 3grade at the same time and weum wood go vote after scool together. :laugh:

 

[The Englishman]

Re: What have you done with our language?

I ... I know you may think me a heretic and justifiably want me burnt at the stake but I, nay 'we' have never eaten at McDonalds - Really! Yes! I am THAT person.

I heard that someone died when eating one of them McDonald things and I steered well clear. Twenty years on I discovered he had stepped in front of a train while eating a McDonalds Sooper Dooper Gut Buster Special. Alert has since dropped from RED to well... I guess Green.

Life can be so tainted huh?

:laugh:

 

[H2H1]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Hi Steve, we are just having a little fun here, don't take it personally. Just hang around and you will fall into it also. But if you have a question on RV'ing please ask away and you will be surprise on how many answers you will get, and some will work. welcome to the best forum around.

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

I vote to let the Eglishman in our club. Think he is gonna fit in fine but he will have to eat a big Mac. :laugh: . let's see now did he have a rv :question: to begin with we can help him out with :question: Naw, just went back and re read and he wuz just trying to learn us up some :laugh:

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

See Steve, if you want to go to our school you'll only have to go to the 3rd grade like Hollis and u'll have all the learning and noledge needed to be a rver :laugh:

 

[utmtman]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Now y'all fergot to cus and discus them folks over in LA and that aint Lusiana thats Los Angeles where everyone speaks a language of their own and ya gots to try and translate the best ye can. Almost as bad as them New Yorkers.

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Now Lee, you know weens never say a cuss word down in the Bible belt. Wow, that wood be a wood shed whuping by Paw. Paw taught me a long time ago to just say "I'll be John Brown" :laugh:

 

[H2H1]

Re: What have you done with our language?

NASH I didn't know u knew my cussin John down in LA.,,,,, Lee that Lower Alabama

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Well not to talk about your kin Hollis but I always figured John Brown must have been a pretty sorry soul to have paw use his name instead of cussing :laugh:

 

[dbarton291]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Don't forget we have sweaters, you have pullovers. We walk on the sidewalk, you walk on the pavement. We have flashlights, you have torches. We haul things in trucks, you have lorries. You have beer, we have crappy beer.

 

[The Englishman]

Re: What have you done with our language?

... thats true and some others that completely threw me are

Campsites for us are the whole deal where Rv's and/or tents go to. Where we will park our RV is on a pitch and that pitch may be a super pitch on a level concrete pad with TV, water, sewer and sometimes wireless Intenet. A standard pitch will only have water and electric. a pitch may be electric or not and water is at the tap in the field somewhere. Incidentally if a tap has a crutch to turn it on the discharge HAS to be potable (you can drink it without dying) otherwise the tap HAS to be the locking type that is opened by a key - Its usually harvested rainwater for the field and the like.

We Green Field in a field (or designated area) with ONLY a tap in the corner for water and you Boondock (water is not necessarily provided ours is a legal requirement).

We have grey water that is not effluent and usually from the shower and sink and we are strongly encouraged to discharge this into the ground. I would dig a small hole and hang the outlet pipe in it. You have to take yours away. Thats a stoopid idea - It costs a lot of money to process effluent and so why add to the problem by adding non hazardous water that the land desperately needs.

You have a meeting and we rally.

We have Left and Right. Here it is North, East, West and South - Its ok if you know where you are to begin with.

You have Hazardous Bends we have a slight bend in the road not important enough to post any warnings or even know about.

You have Yield ... I am waiting to see posters stating 12,000 bushels or 100 Steers stuck to the post. We achieve tha same by stating Give Way (to traffic at this point).

Applicable in Iowa is they have a pain in the a55 fall of snow. Britain declares a National Disaster. Radio and TV stations would broadcast nonsense messages about dont venture out - stay put and the rest. In Iowa they push it out the way and carry on their day.

A sandwich is two slices of bread with a filling and quite normal to have maybe two for your lunch. A sandwich here is enough to feed you and your family for a couple of days.

You have free refills for your coffee we have an incremental bill for it.

You have guns well almost every one - In Britain only the bad guys have the guns anyone else found with a gun, parts of a gun ammo or even paraphanalia will be doing jail time and if they discharged the gun .... They want to hope their cellmate is heterosexual cos they're gonna spend a long time together.

The toughest deal I have is that you dont have proper breakfast tea. We do. When I go back or my wife comes here a large consignment of proper tea is bought over.

So I think you can see just how tough it is learning to be American

 

[big bilko]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Stone the crows cobber,We have to put up with both You Yanks and Poms murdering the way we aussies Talk proper.Its enough to make me didgeroo billabong and me nulla nulla bend.You call our prawns shrimp and our lemonade POP or SODA and suggest that we are upside down.HOOROO> :bleh:

 

[C Nash]

Re: What have you done with our language?

Now Steve if you park in one of our greenfields you will be shot several times by a deer hunter. We plant greenfields for deer :laugh: We have to have at least one gun in ever guage and plenty of ammo for each. Don't want to take the same gun hunting ever day.